Source: The Gottman Institute
The Sound Relationship House was designed by researching what works and what doesn’t in relationships and then identifying key components of a robust and stable relationship of love, trust and excitement. Looking at each level you will see what Masters of relationship have been using to build their romances.
Three Major Components
There are three major sections to the Sound Relationship House.
- Friendship & Love Maps
- Constructive Conflict
- Shared Meaning
Each of these metaphorical floors have a few different rooms that mutually support and benefit the rest of your relationship healthiness:
- Build Love Maps
- Part of building friendship is really knowing your partner’s world from his / her point of view. Can you name your partner’s best friend? Favorite holiday memory? Worst vacation? Learning to set aside (not forfeit) your world for a moment and listen deeply to your partner builds room for great degrees of hope.
- Share Fondness and Admiration
- Masters of relationship can access feelings of fondness for their life and partner and share it with their partner. This isn’t a Pollyanna looking only at the positive. It is a disciplined appreciation of your partner for her / his uniqueness and contributions in your life.
- Turn Towards
- A thousand little pieces built the great wonders of the world. A relationship well-built is a wonder. Similarly, little exchanges between you and your partner are the building blocks of your emotional bank account. Each day, and countless times throughout the day, you are both choosing whether to build a wonderful relationship or not.
- The Positive Perspective
- A significant difference between Masters & Disasters of relationship are the attitudes they internally hold towards their partner. Learn how to develop and deepen existing ways your partner and you positively relate.
- Manage Conflict
- Did you know conflict can be constructive? Many fights are a plea to be understood more clearly and accepted by one’s partner. Unfortunately, unskillful patterns often develop as couples slip into defensiveness and blame. You and your partner can become proficient at working with both negotiable and nonnegotiable differences. Begin to be able to identify solvable and perpetual problems and know how to relate to one another in a caring way through either.
- Make Life Dreams Come True
- Don’t lose your passions in your relationship. Learn to foster energy and fuel for work ahead by sharing one another’s hopes and dreams
- Create Shared Meaning
- Masters of relationship have casual and formal ways of connecting with each other over life transitions. Whether daily hellos and goodbyes or a new child, one who is graduating, or a passing of a family member, your partner and you can become fellow soul mates connecting deeply.