Research Based Approach
The Gottman Method Couples Therapy developed out of seeing what works. Over three decades of following couples, verifiable patterns were found of both the Masters & Disasters of relationship. From the work of the Gottman Institute, over 3000+ couples have been video, interviewed, and studied to reveal what works in a relationship and what doesn’t. Working with a trained psychotherapist can be beneficial for your relationship. You and your partner can learn to avoid what Disasters of relationship do and what Masters of relationship know, and begin using the knowledge immediately.
What Doesn’t Work?
Almost ninety-four percent of couples with predominant traits of the four horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) are likely to separate if they do not get professional support and help. A majority of couples who do get support and help can turn away from the four horsemen and begin a relationship that moves past gridlocked conflicts to increased dialogue and understanding.
Learn What Works for Couples
Your partner and you can learn the researched based interventions to use on your own. This isn’t rocket science. However just learning something isn’t enough; you’ll have to be willing to try and stick with the new ways of relating until they become your default methods. Begin now with a professional couples or marriage counselor to make a difference.
Removing Conflict Won’t Save a Relationship
Gottman research shows that changing how a couple deals with conflict is not enough to keep a relationship together. While the way a couple works with conflict is a great predictor of separation in the first seven years of relationship or marriage, it doesn’t preclude other factors of separation in the future. The Sound Relationship House is a comprehensive solution-focused methodology for helping couples to grow together instead of apart. Not only does working through the Sound Relationship House foster a way with conflict so it can be constructive, but it builds in necessary positive aspects and shared meaning that keep couples together longer with greater relationship satisfaction too.
Don’t Wait Like Others Have – Six Years Too Long
The Gottman Institute research has found that most couples wait more than six years before getting trained couple’s counseling after first thinking their relationship needs a tune-up. You don’t have to join them. If you think your relationship is going down a destructive path, call now for a free 20-minute phone consultation to see if couple’s counseling is best for you. Together we can begin to take stock and assess what might be revisited or changed to get you two going anew.
Destructive Gridlock Becomes Constructive Conflict
Many people do not realize that there are different types of conflicts. Many couples do not realize what is at stake for his or her partner during a fight. Gridlock, being entrenched in one’s own view, along with seeing their partner as missing the point or not capable of change, is sadly familiar for many relationships.
Conflict is often much more than being about the trash or picking-up kids. It has a long meaningful history wrapped quietly beneath the details at hand. Upon unpacking these details a few things can happen and gridlock can begin to shift leading to dialogue.
As you begin to see the difference between solvable and perpetual problems, you gain freedom in your relationship. You might be saying, “Hold-on: solvable and perpetual problems? What, another difference in perspective?” Yes. Gottman research has found that behind almost sixty-nine percent of conflicts is a deep meaning and value difference. Difference isn’t a problem for a couple if it can be acknowledged and worked with. Using Sound Relationship House methods a couple can begin to unpack what is behind perpetual problems. This then allows energy to move from fighting to connecting, and also allows for those conflicts which are solvable to be solved more quickly.