Masters & Disasters of Relationship

Learn what works

By learning from others’ mistakes, you can do things differently in your relationship or marriage.  A trained couple’s counselor can support you and your partner in identifying and replacing toxic patterns that may have unconsciously become the foundation of your current struggles and pains.

And learning from the patterns of Masters of relationship, explained below, can provide you with concrete tools and skills for building friendship and intimacy in your partnership.  If your relationship has toxic patterns, you can learn how to leave those behind and introduce patterns shown by Masters of relationship.

This therapy process of reducing toxic patterns and increasing intimacy is what the Gottman Couples Therapy Method calls the Sound Relationship House(SRH).

Disasters of relationship


Disasters of relationship are couples who have not been building a sustainable life together.  They are a couple who, without learning a new way of relating, may be better suited to be apart than together.  They may have inadvertently slipped into habits of treating one another with painful words and harmful behaviors.

Often unconscious of how they’ve ended up in a gridlock or recurring fights and isolation, these couples are destined for separation.  They may have already separated figuratively as two people living together but internally apart.

Disasters of relationship often are unaware of alternatives.  They haven’t learned different ways of getting the respect they want and deserve in a relationship.  Doing what is familiar hasn’t seemed to get them what they wish for or need.  This may seem like bad news, yet awareness is the first step in making a change.  Research has found that a majority of couples who get professional counseling support can renew their relationship.

Masters of relationship


Masters of relationship are couples who have developed ways of relating together that provide them both with enough closeness and autonomy.  These Masters of relationship have many of the same differences and conflicts as Disasters, yet Masters have learned different ways of navigating their differences and getting their own needs met in respectful ways.

Masters of relationship are not perfect or magical.  With work and effort to set aside unhelpful patterns, you and your partner can learn the ways of these Masters of relationship.  You can get the respect you want in a relationship you enjoy and celebrate.

Couples therapy may be part of your journey towards becoming a Master of relationship.  Please call for a free 20-minute phone consultation to find out.